Payroll

Why did I come in early on Memorial Day? When I could do it on Tuesday? Is it because payroll deadline falls on a holiday which pushes it to the next day, Tuesday by 10 am.

That still doesn't answer the question. Why didn't I just Do It Later? Well, here's why:

1. There are 1100 employees here
2. There are only 10 'servers' available for our payroll system.
3. We have 90 Percenters who call themselves 'supervisors' that do most of the payroll for departments.
4. These 90 Percenters do not plan ahead with payroll details (vacation hours to add, missed punches, etc)
5. What do these 90 Percenters do? They come in and log onto the payroll servers, and realize they do not have what they need to complete their payroll.

6. These 90 percenters STAY LOGGED ON because they do not want to 'lose their spot'. At this point, they begin to wander the halls of our place of employment hoping to find those employees who forgot to clock-in, etc.

7. These 90 Percenters also tend to be the ones who will stop by the cafeteria (while still logged onto the payroll server, one of the ten) and have their third breakfast of the morning. Then proceed to complain about how short of breath they are...hmm...

8. About 90 minutes later, they waddle back to their cubicle to complete their payroll on time.
9. There are about 30 directors/supervisors (I use those terms loosely) who do this every two weeks.

30 x 90% = 27 I estimate that there are 27 of these kinds of people in our place of employment who have to 'clean up after' 1100 x 90% = 990. Quite a mix.

This is a world-wide standard. Do your own calculations at your workplace and you will realize what we are dealing with here!

One may ask why don't I just come in earlier tomorrow? I get up at 5:30am to run 3-4 miles, have my quiet time and be ready to work around 7:30.

Some things are more important. And besides, I've got a great job here. This is the one thing I can complain about!